PLEASE No more Blaming & Shaming :(

I have just been reading through a lengthy Twitter conversation that focusses on the damage the current trend in blaming and shaming children in the classroom is doing. Thank you to all that are raising and discussing this issue – in my experience it’s not one that schools that employ this system of Behaviour Management feel comfortable having :dry:

I decided to add this discussion to the PBPeople forum as have also just been contacted by someone based in a school who recently attended a 2 day Foundation Course in Protective Behaviours. During the course we spent time discussing how the ritual shaming of children that don’t manage to stay on the Rainbow all day and are publicly moved to the Black Cloud does little to raise self-esteem and does absolutely nothing to build a respectful relationship with the adults paid to be there or their peers who have little/no choice but to witness this shaming experience.

I feel really pleased to have received the email this morning and wanted to share my response so far:

“I totally understand that schools need to find ways to maximise teaching and learning - however I believe this is best done by building respectful relationships between all members of the school community and that's where the core process of Protective Behaviours comes in. If the 2 themes: We all have the right to feel safe all the time, (and therefore a corresponding responsibility to observe other people's right to feel safe), and We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small, are embedded in every area of the school, then we have an ethos where people can safely challenge unsafe behaviour and both staff and students know they can ask for help
I realise this might all sound a bit 'pie in the sky' BUT if schools continue to 'manage behaviour' rather than nurture children and staff and build their individual abilities to respond, we continue on a route of disempowerment with some adults having all the power.
As a 'starter for 10', if it was a school I had a role in, I would:
* rename the Behaviour Policy a Relationship Policy
* have the 2 PB themes as it's guiding principles
* invite the whole school community to decide what people need to feel safe in 'our school'
* have this list of ingredients as our Relationship Rules
* encourage everyone to sign up to these
* teach the Language of Safety model to everyone
* provide opportunities to practise it so can people can use to respectfully challenge behaviour that doesn't feel safe - the Ownership, Quality, Shared Meaning and Clarity aspects of this model enable assertive communication rather than blame, shame, put down or sarcasm....

I'd also set up a system where children and adults including parents/carers identify behaviours of others that help them to feel safer and encourage individuals to record daily what they feel proud/good about. I'd ask individuals to record what they need to feel safer/happier during the school day and then work as a whole-school community to help this become a reality - this is where blank stickers are helpful rather than the printed ones that just say 'good work'.....

I also recommended the following blog from Jane Evans: www.thejaneevans.com/when-did-humiliatio...ome-a-school-policy/
Also hope those who visit Jane’s site find many more blogs that support ways to build empathic, compassionate, empowering and safer relationships with children.

Really looking forward to this conversation continuing and being able to signpost those who instinctively know the practice of blaming and shaming is wrong, find a safer alternative

Just seen this also on Twitter and think it adds to the conversation:
lifethroughacriticallens.blogspot.co.uk/...en.html?spref=tw&m=1
SA

Brighton Therapy Partnership have kindly shared their experiences of dealing with shame - some wonderful activities in my opinion
Heading off now to find my Russian Dolls ......
Here'e the website link too: www.brightontherapypartnership.org.uk/ex...utm_content=Articles