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Theme 2 - Take 3?

  • Sally Ann
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16 Oct 2013 18:18 - 16 Oct 2013 18:19 #13 by Sally Ann
Replied by Sally Ann on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi all,
I'm really enjoying seeing the conversations unfold and am trying hard to keep up. Regarding the comment made in Simon's first post about 'I do not think any particular qualities need to be a requirement of a network person .......' I'm not sure I agree with this because I believe a network person, be it someone I know or an 'instant network person' such as a stranger, would need, at the very least, to be willing to listen, believe me and do something/help me to do something.

Regarding a potential update to Theme 2, I have been sharing this development in thinking with people attending recent training PB training courses and the feedback has been in favour of including the word 'feel' as in 'We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small.'

The way I presented this discussion was to have the 'old' Theme 2: 'There is nothing so awful .....' as well as the 2 newer versions on a piece of flipchart paper and then asked people to read them, listen to them being read aloud and decide which one 'feels' consitent with the PB process.

So far, as already mentioned, the overwhelming response has been to include the word 'feel' and the interesting thing for me was that people were making a link with Theme 1 as somethings that might feel safe to one person might not to others and somethings that might feel awful or small to one, might not to someone else. Who is to say what 'is' or 'isn't' safe or unsafe and what 'is' or 'isn't' awful or small? Adding the 'f' word enables and encourages people to listen to their individual physical response and choose what to do next.

Personally, I think introducing the word 'seems' misses an opportunity to make links between the 2 themes and I don't like it :S

Hope this post is more helpful than unhelpful.
SA

PS Someone also pointed out to me that by saying 'We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small' can validate to a person that the act of talking about anything, might also feel awful or small.
Last edit: 16 Oct 2013 18:19 by Sally Ann.

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16 Oct 2013 22:58 #14 by dimar
Replied by dimar on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi All
Thanks Sally Ann I could not have expressed it better. Thank you. :)
I love the comment at the end. It certainly may feel awful or small to be talking about a problem. By talking it is hoped the awful or small feelings would go away. If not the network review and persistence come to play. Great little addition.

Am delighted this conversation is happening, must admit I have only used the 'feels awful' version after stopping the original 'There is nothing ......' So am glad we are seeking a consensus.

Regarding the 'we trust' bit. Donna uses that version with her work with special needs people. I can see why she may do this and have emailed her suggesting she may like to log and look at the discussion.

Cheers from Di in OZ

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  • Donna Fortin
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20 Oct 2013 19:27 - 20 Oct 2013 19:36 #15 by Donna Fortin
Replied by Donna Fortin on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi UK PBers All:

Talked with Di last night, and am prompted to weigh in on Theme 2 discussion. In 2007 the US Trainers got together for a weekend and worked on our Training for Trainers Manual. It was a very productive time, and there were moments when we just shook our heads in wonderment at PB Language and its importance to the ongoing process. It is still of great importance, and I'm thrilled at your comments and discussion.

Re: "Trust" in theme 2. We added "we trust" in Theme 2 because trust kept coming up again and again in workshops with people who are differently-abled. As those of you who work with people who experience life differently, they are very often "taken in" or abused by those who necessarily invade their body's privacy; diapering, toileting, bathing, feeding, lifting, mouth washing...the list goes on. When we use the word "grooming" in this context, it can mean physically grooming for life activities, so it has a different meaning for those who cannot do for themselves. This means another person has been given permission to touch their entire body. Especially for those who physically cannot move unless helped, 'trust' is essential. The statistics are frightening! Thus we added "we trust" because if a network person is not to be trusted, EWS increase, and more damage is done. That five letter word became a key point in integrating the PB process, and continues to do so. As usual, would greatly appreciate any feedback!
I am looking forward to meeting you at Terri's conference in June, 2014! I would also recommend a re-reading of Peg's last book, "Risking on Purpose". It continues to inspire me! I am now working on an addendum to Living Safely on bullying. I will share with you for feedback soon.
Last edit: 20 Oct 2013 19:36 by Steve H.

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  • Sally Ann
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20 Oct 2013 21:17 - 20 Oct 2013 21:18 #16 by Sally Ann
Replied by Sally Ann on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi Donna,
Feels great to have you on our network and part of this discussion and thank you for sharing your thoughts and work.

Regarding the word 'trust', I wonder if this is also interchangeable with the word 'safe' as in:
"We can talk about anything with someone we feel safe with, no matter how awful or small". Not sure how well this flows though.

Really looking forward to meeting you at the Safety Net conference in June 2014 :cheer:
Last edit: 20 Oct 2013 21:18 by Sally Ann.

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23 Oct 2013 18:35 #17 by Inspired
Replied by Inspired on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi All, Have finally had a space to read and digest this conversation and which have prompted some alternative versions to pop into my head....
1. "We can talk with someone about anything even if awful or small" - this version removes the "it/it's" and potential for confusion as to what "it" relates to.

2. "We can talk with someone about EVERYthing even if awful or small" - I am wondering here if the "Everything" has a slightly more inclusive tone/quality about it than "anything"? And as with (1) above I have left out the "it/it's" here too.

3. "We can talk about EVERYthing with someone" - This obviously removes any reference to the nature of the "thing" but is explicitly inclusive about what we can talk about and so perhaps brings more attention to the someone which links to idea of network people. I am quite liking this one as I read it, but am not sure I am evaluating it clearly in relation to all the other aspects of the process that have been mentioned in this discussion....(or put another way I feel my head is cabbaged trying to digest and distill all the posts on this topic so would welcome any help with my thinking on this one!)

4. "NOthing is unspeakable" - really not sure about this one - think it is perhaps a bit too "cryptic" and so it doesn't feel easy; and thought I would still put it up.

Look forward to your responses
Lucy

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23 Oct 2013 18:52 #18 by Ann
Replied by Ann on topic Theme 2 - Take 3?
Hi Lucy,
Knee jerk response as I am about to go out but personally feel very uncomfortable about the word 'everything'. There are some things some people (most people?) wouldn't ever want to talk about with anyone, and there would be no need to. Somebody may not have any early warning signs about keeping all sorts of thoughts or past behaviours to themselves. For some individuals with language developmental delays the meaning may be misread as being asked to talk about everything which could be a very bad idea! Got to go, will think more about it...
Ann

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