Theme 2 - Take 3?

Hi all,
Like Ann, I feel uncomfortable with using the word 'everything' in Theme 2. The word 'anything' suggests to me, to any extent, whereas the word 'everything' suggests all.
I particularly like the new wording of Theme 2 in terms of the positivity of 'We can .....
Also the 'talk with' to suggest communication is more than one way.
'Someone' rather than just 'anyone'
And 'about anything' for the reason above.
And I could leave it at that although adding 'even if it feels awful or small' can really help people to feel that they can choose to talk/communicate because 'nothing is so awful or too little we can't talk about it with someone - (Looks like I'm back to the 'old' Theme 2). And just as before, we need to find the right 'someones' and the right time for us.

Hi Sally Ann et al
It might look as if you are back to the original theme 2 however so many people commented on the double negative we really needed to do something about it ( pardon the almost pun)
I like the someone because it reinforces the idea that there IS someone, even if not people we know already. Somewhere there is someone .....
brings in persistence, borrowed networks, instant networks, EWS etc etc etc.

Am so looking forward to further discussions when over in UK in June and July.
Cheers from Di :side:

Hi All,
Have been consulting my network regarding Theme 2 developments and luckily my daughter, (although she doesn't belong to me), is reading English at Uni and has also completed Foundation training in PBs. So below is what she had to say in terms of analysing the language of Theme 2 in its various incarnations.

1. (There is nothing) (that is so awful), (or too little), (that we cannot talk about it that something) (with someone.)

2. (We can talk) (with someone) (about anything), (even if it) (the thing is awful) (or small.)

3. (We can talk) (with someone) (about anything), (even if it) (the thing feels awful) (or small).


The first sentence, (1), has a complex sentence structure. Whilst it is not a negative sentence (it's still making a positive statement), it uses the complex abstract noun “nothing” as its main object of discussion, which could be confusing. It also has a lot of excess indicators (‘that is’ etc) that obviously aren’t needed to convey meaning, but the omission of these means that the sentence requires a developed understanding of the English language to understand the meaning itself.

The second sentence, (2), is also structured as a positive statement (something being said that is believed), but, instead, uses the verb “can” which is empowering, and the abstract noun “anything”, which has inclusive connotations.
I think the main issue with sentence 2 is the use of the ‘to be’ verb “is”. What it actually ends up saying is that ‘if the something is awful or small, it’s still ok to talk about it with someone’. By omitting the intensifiers “so” and “too”, it has also ended up labelling the ‘things’ “awful” and “small”. From my experience with PBs, and the importance of FEELING VS BEING, it would seem as though the second sentence is not consistent with Theme 1: 'We all have the right to feel safe all the time.

The third sentence, (3), combines the ‘can’ attitude with the ‘feeling’ verb whilst also remaining consistent with the original theme.

Hope this helps!

Many thanks Ellie for using your linguistic talents to add more to the discussion. :kiss:

WOW
Am very impressed.
My grammar and syntax are not the best so to have my personal preference for theme 2 validated like this is wonderful. I do hope others agree with Ellies suggestions and thus we can say OK This is it now.

We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small.

Thank you Ellie and Sally Ann
Cheers from Di

Hi All,
Thank you to Ellie for an interesting analysis from a grammatical point of view. Incorporating good grammar into Theme 2 as well makes sense to me.

Having just spent the last couple of days observing Ann and Sally-Ann I have "if we choose to" resounding in my head and so am wondering about the possibility of adding in the word "choose" to Theme 2?

"We can choose to talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small"
or
"If we choose, we can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small".

I like this idea in that it makes our "choice" explicit, thus reinforcing choice and control from the safety continuum. However, I am also wondering if it does something to undermine the "we can"? This feels an instinct at the moment so can't put it into words. I would be interested to know what Ellie's thoughts are from a grammatical point of view, along with anyone else's reaction.
best wishes
Lucy

Donna Fortin here...wonderful discussion, and reminds me of the long conversations we had years ago. We wanted to get rid of the double negative which is why we began looking at alternatives.

I really like, "We can CHOOSE to talk about something (with someone we trust) that is awful or small". That does include the choice concept. Paramount is our EWS or lack thereof. Whether or not the event is actually awful or small for the listener is irrelevant...we have felt our EWS and that validates our need to tell someone on our network about it. The 'small' part came in because sometimes there are events/feelings that may seem small to others, but not to us. How often have we wanted to tell someone about a 'little thing', but held back because we might appear silly.

As for the word 'trust'. Yes, I use it now, because of my experience with those who have been hurt so much they actually laugh when I suggest they can talk about their hurt with someone and can't find even one person to put on their network. "No one will listen to me," is a constant. When training in an institution where caregivers can destroy hours of PB training in one sentence is devastating, so important to find that one person with whom you don't get your EWS, and to whom you can tell your feelings. Of course we sometimes need to trust a stranger like police etc. And basically, if you get your EWS about someone, do you want to confide in them? To quote from Basic Essentials..."Strategy #5: Network Development and Use...people can learn to identify a personal Network of 'trusted' adults to whom they can turn when they are not feeling safe, or when they have something to share." (Just to muddy the waters some more!) Thanks for letting me share!