Theme 2 - Take 3?

Hi All
Great discussion. Unfortunately I find the suggested theme
"We can CHOOSE to talk about something (with someone we trust) that is awful or small".

a bit cumbersome and looks a bit like the someone may be awful or small. I do understand the need to have 'someone we trust' in there as sometimes necessary.

How about "We can choose to talk with someone (we trust) about anything, even if it feels awful or small

For me after going YES, I love the addition of 'we can choose' ..... there is now a little frisson of discomfort about using the We can 'choose'. Adding the word Choose to talk may soften the encouragement people to talk. To say "we can ... feels to me to be really and encouragement to do it ... yes I can .. Yes I can .. said the little red engine!!!!
In addition if someone does not choose to talk then this may well add a sense of failure or even add to the guilt of not talking. To clarify; e.g. I know that choosing to increase my exercise will be good for me, however, when I choose not to do so, I may feel guilty or be hard on myself for not doing so.

Given the message in abuse so often includes the message not to talk, some people need all the encouragement they can get to do so.

My personal preference is to simply have
"We can talk with someone (we trust) about anything, even if it feels awful or small"

However am certainly open to having 'Choose' in there if that is the consensus.
Cheers from Di

I loved the idea of adding 'choose' at first but very grateful for the other point of view and totally see it from that perspective too now. The beauty of a course like the process into practice / extended training Is that we would have time to discuss and process that kind of alternative meaning. I'm brought back to Di's favoured KISS principle.

I hadn't heard about the book you mention Donna, how horrific. I shall continue with my promotion of PBs as far and wide as I can, for that and so many other good reasons. We can effect change (for some, if not all). So many parents I train (there in their professional, not parental role) comment that they wish they had known about PBs when their children were younger... and I don't imagine many have done anything a fraction as bad as beating children with rubber tubing. I hope that story gets picked up by the press here so we have some public debate about it.

Looking forward to meeting you in the summer

Wow, feels so good to me that we are able to talk about so much 'stuff' be it awful or small. Like you Ann, the KISS as in 'keep it simple sweetheart' came to mind and that's what I really like about the idea of 'We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small' because with pre-school children I can initially use 'We can talk' or 'We can talk with someone' or 'We can talk with someone about anything' etc.
And today I was PB-ing with Yr 2 students reading Early Childhood studies at the University of Northampton and I asked them to have a discussion about Theme 2 in terms of the 'orginal' wording:
1) There is nothing so awful or too little we can't talk about it with someone.
And also 2) 'We can talk with someone about anything, even if it is awful or small' and then, 3) 'We can talk with someone about anything, even if it feels awful or small'.
Once again the whole group rejected version 2 stating what might feel awful or small may not feel like that or be that to someone else. They also commented on the positivity expressed when using the words 'We can....' and identified the word 'nothing' as particularly significant.
For me, I now feel that my thoughts about the rewording of Theme 2 to version 3 have been validated. Therefore, my preferred option on training from now on is to ask people to discuss the evolution of Theme 2 and reinforce versions 1 & 3 as both are consistent with the PB process - version 2 for me does not feel like it is.
Thank you to everyone who has taken part in the discussion so far and, in the words of Bob Hoskins in a very old advert for British Telecom,'It's good to talk'?

It's interesting that people for whom PBs is a new concept (students on Day One) who are approaching this discussion on Theme Two wording from a different perspective are mostly opting for the same wording on courses when presented with the three options, as that seems to be what perhaps makes the most the most sense for them.

In terms of putting 'choice' into the wording, every time I see the words "We can choose to talk....", I can't switch off in my mind that that also could mean "...or we can choose NOT to talk" which is the basis for (often decades of) undisclosed abuse - even if the choice in this context feels like the person barely has a choice - e.g. they are basically forced into 'choosing' not to disclose.

Agree that simplicity is key too, as it is important that children can rely on remembering the two Themes.

Interesting point Judith. The word choose is certainly a tricky one.
Especially for those who have experienced abuse. What you are saying also links into the point about feeling guilty if not choosing and increasing the self blame and punishment.
Having tried the 3 versions on a few training days, am wondering if it is the right time to simply use the one we all seem to agree on?
What do others think, feel?
Cheers from Di